Now, I don’t want to give you any wrong ideas about me. I’m not inclined to bravery, but I do have a pretty good handle on the will to live. That, I suppose, is what kept me moving forward through all of this. Through that damned thing escaping the mirror, and invading my home and my life. I would like to tell you that I squared up against it, took it on head to head, but that isn’t what happened.

If you want the truth, I haven’t laid eyes on it. From the moment it escaped it’s prison and entered our world, I have refused to let myself look at it. Even when it was taunting me, breathing on the back of my neck, lingering so near that the hair stood up on my arms, I refused. I know that looking at it would change things, that seeing it face to face would be the end of me. So I simply….didn’t look. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and whispered prayers to myself until it moved on, done with it’s torment, at least for a little while.

This presented quite a problem at night, when I was forced to move around the house with my eyes shut tight. I tried to do everything I could before the sun went down, when I started to see it moving in my peripheral and I knew that it was ready to make it’s appearance. During the day, however, it went….somewhere. I’m not really sure where, and I didn’t want to find out. I didn’t go searching for it, only interested in staying alive and trying to put together a plan of action.

It told me that I’ll never escape it. That it chose me, and that it had been watching me for years from inside the mirror. I don’t know how much of that is true, but it does know things about me. Horrible things. Things I want to keep to myself, that I never want another living person to know.

About how I stole money from my mother when she lay dying, and how I slept with my best friends wife. It was only once, we were both drunk at a Christmas party, but it’s not something I’m proud of and definitely not something I want to make known to the public at large. It knows about my heavy drinking, and about how I can’t seem to hold down a job these days. It never lets me forget any of it, forcing me to recall all of the horrific sins I’ve committed.

I’d been moving through the days in a daze, constantly tired and on edge. I was existing on food deliveries while I worked from home, sighting personal reasons as my excuse to not come into the office. My boss is a good-natured fella, and I know he’ll let me drag this out for at least a little while longer. So long as I’m doing the work on time he doesn’t mind, and he won’t pry until I really start to slip. At which point, well, I’ll just have to figure that out when it happens I suppose.

It took me days before I figure out what to do, and the realization hit me like a fucking train.

I could just leave. There was nothing in the world stopping me from going out the door and never looking back. Once the idea was planted in my brain I acted on it, grabbing a suitcase from the hall closet and starting to fill it with things I thought I’d need. Changes of clothes, my laptop and charger, food items that won’t go bad that also won’t require any cooking beyond what a hot plate can do. Toothpaste and deodorant, the book I’ve been reading, and a few sentimental family photos make it into the case before I zipped it shut.

I tossed everything into the back of the car, put the keys in the ignition, and left without bothering to lock up. Who cared if they rob the place? Let them take it all. The television, the appliances, my mother’s ashes off the mantelpiece. Hell, maybe I’d really get lucky and they’d take that thing with them too, let the living embodiment of my nightmares haunt them for a change. I laughed as I hit the highway, accelerating with wild abandon as I drove into the afternoon with no particular destination in mind. I figured I’d stop when I got tired, but for the moment I didn’t care.

I made it nearly two-hundred miles before I finally stopped for coffee and a stale gas station sandwich. I slept in my car, but it wasn’t so bad. Yesterday I moved on another few hundred miles, and now I’m at an old motor lodge two states over. They gave me a room on the second floor, and I can see my car if I step outside and look down. There’s not much in the way of food, so I’m on the second night of having a buffet courtesy of the quarters I found in my car’s cup holder and the vending machines in the small lobby.

I thought maybe I would stay here a little while longer, it’s cheap and I can’t afford to blow money right now, but I’m not sure that’s going to be possible. At first I thought I was hearing things, a side-effect of everything going on, because I woke up twice last night to what I thought was someone knocking on my door. Then, just about an hour ago, I heard a distinct tap-tap-tap from inside the bathroom. It was the sound of something pecking on glass.

I got out, but I think that it’s found me again. So tomorrow, if I make it to tomorrow, I’ll move on. I’d go now but I’m still bone tired, and it feels dangerous to drive without really resting and getting sleep. I’ll leave the lights on, just in case, and hope that it’s enough for now. I don’t know if it’s back inside the mirror, or waiting for me outside in the dark. I’ll keep running as long as I have to, until I find an answer. Either some way to escape it permanently, or put it back where it belongs.

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